2024 Saskatchewan Leader Election Interview
· 18 min. read
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On October 17, 2024, Saskatchewan Party leader Scott Moe and New Democratic Party (NDP) leader Carla Beck held a televised interview discussing some of the issues citizens across Saskatchewan are feeling, from healthcare to education to job insecurity. Following the interview, the two parties shook hands, thanked the moderators, and departed the legislature rotunda.
That was the end of the televised interview, but I had arranged to speak to both party leaders following that, for about 15 minutes. I had some concerns about other topics that were not brought up during the interview due to, as both parties agreed, possibly alarming the general public. However, as a freelance journalist, I have an obligation to share these with the public.
Both didn't have much time to give me because of the media storm swirling outside, so I only asked them a few questions each to get an idea of what they were doing to deal with additional problems facing our province. These are those questions:
*dun dun*
1. Regina and Saskatoon were once ranked as the safest places in Canada during a zombie outbreak. Given the recent global pandemic, what additional plans does your party have to keep communities safe from zombie threats?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
Look, Saskatchewan has always prioritized safety, whether it’s for pandemics or zombie outbreaks. Our cold winters and lower population density give us an edge, but we’re not stopping there. Let’s be honest, the RCMP, under federal control, isn’t always as effective as we need them to be when it comes to rapid, local response. With the new Saskatchewan Marshals Service, we’ll be prepared for zombie threats. Our localized response will ensure swift action to protect our communities.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
We need to learn from the pandemic and ensure that Saskatchewan is ready for any kind of outbreak, zombie or otherwise. Regina and Saskatoon have advantages, like proximity to military bases and a physically resilient population, but we can do more. The NDP will push for stronger collaboration between the provincial government and the federal government, much like we saw during COVID-19, when the Canadian Armed Forces provided essential support here in Saskatchewan. If elected, we’ll focus on improving public health infrastructure and ensuring that emergency response teams are equipped to handle both viral and undead threats.
2. Both Alberta and Manitoba faced record Windigo attacks in the early 20th century and were stopped by joint efforts by the Hudson's Bay and RCMP. With both of those groups ending operation in Saskatchewan, what are your plans to address potential Windigo attacks in the future?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
Windigo attacks are a serious matter, and we must learn from the past while implementing modern solutions. The new Saskatchewan Marshals Service will be key in addressing this issue, as they are designed to work closely with local communities and respond quickly to any potential threats. Unlike the RCMP, which has had challenges in serving our unique Saskatchewan needs, the Marshall Plan will ensure our officers are trained to handle situations involving mythical threats. We’ll also partner with local law enforcement to monitor for signs of Windigo activity and ensure a swift response. With a strong, localized approach, we’ll protect our citizens and keep Saskatchewan safe.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
While history has shown us the challenges posed by Windigo attacks, we must approach this issue with sensitivity and respect for Indigenous traditions. The NDP believes in collaborating with local Indigenous groups to create a comprehensive strategy that honors their cultural beliefs and practices. We’ll work to modify the legal system to ensure that individuals like Jack Fiddler, who were historically prosecuted for their traditional beliefs, are protected. This includes recognizing the importance of traditional knowledge in addressing potential threats. By working together with Indigenous communities, we can create a safer Saskatchewan that respects our heritage and supports those who have long been stewards of the land.
3. Recent reports suggest that the provincial debt is rapidly increasing due to mismanagement by goblins in the finance department. What strategies does your party have to address this unusual financial challenge and restore fiscal responsibility?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
While the provincial debt is increasing, I think we need to be careful not to jump to conclusions about goblins in the finance department. The reality is that our debt is a result of larger economic challenges, including the impacts of Trudeau’s policies and the ongoing war in Russia that have disrupted markets. If elected, the Saskatchewan Party will focus on prudent fiscal management and strategies to stabilize our economy, rather than getting caught up in the fantastical claims of goblin mismanagement. We will work tirelessly to ensure Saskatchewan remains a place of financial stability and growth.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
The growing provincial debt due to goblin mismanagement is a wake-up call for all of us. The NDP believes in transparency and accountability, and we must address this with urgency. If elected, we’ll work to replace these goblins with a diverse team of experts who prioritize the financial well-being of Saskatchewan residents. Additionally, we’ll push for community involvement in financial decisions to ensure that every voice is heard. Together, we can create a fair and sustainable financial future for our province, free from the chaos caused by goblin mismanagement.
4. Many Romanians are moving to Saskatchewan from Ontario due to the high cost of living, but there have been reports of vampire problems in some Romanian communities. How would your party handle this situation if vampires migrated here too?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
Saskatchewan has always welcomed people from all over the world, including the Romanian community, and we’re proud of that. But let me be clear—if there’s a vampire problem coming with them from Ontario, that’s something we’ll be ready for. Under our government, we’ll work closely with local law enforcement, including the Saskatchewan Marshals Service, to ensure that any undead threats are handled swiftly. Unlike Ontario, where the cost of living is high and their ability to deal with these issues is questionable, Saskatchewan is well-prepared. And I’ll say this—if Ontario wants to pass their vampire problems onto us, they’ll be getting a strong response. The Saskatchewan Party will always stand up for the safety of our province.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
We’re excited to welcome more Romanian families to Saskatchewan, but we do need to be mindful of the cultural challenges that might come with them—including the possibility of vampires. We can look to traditional Romanian practices to manage this, like the method of burying the dead with chickpeas so vampires are too distracted counting them to escape their graves. If elected, the NDP will collaborate with rural farmers and funeral homes to create a supply of locally grown chickpeas to assist with this tradition. We’ll also ensure that funeral homes are trained in these culturally respectful practices. This isn’t just about safety—it’s about maintaining the cultural heritage of Saskatchewan’s growing Romanian population.
5. With an increase in dog attacks in urban areas, there are concerns about a nomadic werewolf group roaming the streets. How would your party address this issue if elected?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
First off, we need to acknowledge the contributions of our four-legged friends to Saskatchewan, including werewolves—who, like all residents, have the right to a peaceful existence. That said, public safety is our top priority. My government will introduce a comprehensive "Moonlight Management Program" to ensure full moon nights are monitored, and we’ll implement a voluntary Werewolf Registry. This will help us identify any nomadic groups and integrate them into society in a way that keeps everyone safe. We’ll also expand our rural crime watch program to include werewolf-specific training. It’s about strong communities, cooperation, and understanding.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
We can’t ignore the underlying issues here. These nomadic werewolf groups are a symptom of a broader problem: economic inequality and lack of access to affordable housing—especially when it comes to finding shelter during their transformations. If elected, the NDP will invest in safe spaces for werewolves, so they don’t feel compelled to wander through urban centres. We’ll also fund community education to dispel myths and stereotypes about lycanthropy. At the end of the day, this is about inclusion and making sure every resident, human or otherwise, feels supported in Saskatchewan.
6. 2024 marks the 50th anniversary of the Langenberg UFO encounter, with multiple sightings reported in recent years. What plans does your party have to address UFO-related concerns in Saskatchewan?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
Well, let’s be honest—if there’s an issue with UFOs in Saskatchewan, it’s something Prime Minister Trudeau and his NDP allies should have been dealing with long ago. Instead, they’ve been too focused on other pet projects, completely neglecting what’s happening in our skies. It’s clear they don’t see this as a priority. Meanwhile, families in Saskatchewan are left wondering what’s flying overhead, and it’s not being addressed because the federal government and the NDP are busy with their own agenda. My government will continue to focus on the real issues—jobs, affordability, and keeping Saskatchewan safe. We can’t be left waiting on Ottawa and the NDP to catch up.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
This isn’t the first time Saskatchewan has faced mysterious aerial phenomena. Let’s not forget the Japanese fire balloons during the First World War, which floated across our skies. Those balloons were successfully tracked and identified thanks to cooperation between the provincial and federal governments, and we can apply that same approach here. If elected, the NDP will push for greater collaboration with the federal government and use modern technology to track these objects. We also need to listen to communities experiencing these sightings. Whether it’s UFOs or anything else, people deserve to know what’s happening in their own skies.
7. Sightings of the Wascana Mermaid have declined since 2019, and some believe it’s due to health issues caused by fertilizer runoff. What plans does your party have to protect the mermaid population?
Scott Moe (Saskatchewan Party Leader):
The Wascana Mermaid is an iconic part of our province's culture, and it’s concerning to hear about the decline. We need to take action to protect our mermaid population and the integrity of Wascana Centre. If fertilizer overflow is indeed affecting our aquatic ecosystems, we’ll need a comprehensive approach to tackle that issue. The new aquatic center being developed by the City of Regina presents a unique opportunity; it could serve as a controlled environment for mermaid conservation efforts, allowing for both rehabilitation and education. My government will work with the city to ensure we’re protecting our mermaids while promoting sustainable farming practices upstream. We can’t let poor water quality endanger our local legends.
Carla Beck (NDP Leader):
The decline in Wascana Mermaid sightings is alarming, and we need to take immediate action to address the environmental issues affecting our waterways, including the potential impact of fertilizer runoff. The NDP believes in strong environmental stewardship, and that starts with holding agribusiness accountable for their practices. We’ll advocate for stricter regulations on agricultural runoff and promote sustainable farming methods to protect our precious ecosystems. Additionally, we’ll work on community education initiatives that highlight the importance of clean water for all aquatic life. Protecting the mermaid population is not just about conservation; it’s about ensuring a healthy environment for everyone in Saskatchewan.
I had many more questions for the provincial leaders, but both had to leave to talk to the mainstream media following their public debate just prior to our discussion. I want to thank both Premier Scott Moe and Opposition Leader Carla Beck for their time.
I reached out to various other provincial political leaders to see if they were available for this interview, but none were able to attend:
Buffalo Party of Saskatchewan - "Due to an unforeseen stampede of rogue buffalo on our home turf, we were unable to have Mr. Zajac attend the interview. The herd was on a mission to reclaim their territory, and safety must come first!”
Progressive Conservative Party - “We regret to inform you that Ms. Buscholl was swept away in an intense discussion with paranormal researchers about the recent mysterious creature sightings in Saskatchewan. Her commitment to uncovering the truth about these phenomena took precedence over our scheduled interview.”
Green Party - “Unfortunately, we were unable to connect with Ms. Hunter as she was engaged in a ‘Green Energy’ séance, aimed at communicating with environmental spirits. Her passion for bridging the gap between nature and the spirit world is commendable, and we hope to reschedule soon!”
Saskatchewan Progress Party - “Mr. Peters encountered an unexpected adventure when he stumbled upon a hidden portal to an alternate dimension in his office. This thrilling discovery required his immediate attention, making him unavailable for our interview.”
Saskatchewan United Party - “We regret that Mr. Hromek was caught up in a bureaucratic web spun by mischievous spiders seeking better treatment for their kind. His dedication to representing all voices, including those of the enchanted, took priority over our discussion.”
Good luck to all parties during the upcoming election!
Disclaimer: Although much of this article is satire and AI-generated, much more of this article is true than you might believe. Happy Halloween!
Don't forget to vote!
Categories: Canada, Regina, Saskatchewan
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